


didn't want to be anyone's ghost

by soofyahn



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-07
Updated: 2015-10-07
Packaged: 2018-04-25 06:09:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4949638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soofyahn/pseuds/soofyahn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Six months after Zayn leaves One Direction, he shows up on Liam's doorstep.</p>
            </blockquote>





	didn't want to be anyone's ghost

**Author's Note:**

> this is basically nothing but i traumatized all my friends with [this post](http://soofyahn.tumblr.com/post/130653034315) (and maybe [this one](http://soofyahn.tumblr.com/post/126795521340)?) and felt like i owed them something to mend their broken hearts 'cause i'm kinda ruthless when it comes to angst, and super stingy when it comes to fluff. in fact, it's probably better for you to read those first and let this fic soothe your soul or whatevs
> 
> shout out to tj for being the sweetest peach, kiana for being my adorable cheerleader, and rachna for being a glowing angel who talks me through basically everything. i'm obsessed with you all and idk why you put up with me when i send you so much garbage and sad quotes that i incessantly tag #ziam.
> 
> title from the national because they are the only reason i ever write fic.

"Hey."

Liam is a little shell-shocked when he opens his door, his mind struggling to make sense of what's suddenly appeared in front of him. He hasn't seen Zayn in six months. It's the longest he's ever gone without seeing him since they first met, five years ago, and it feels weird to take him in now; his shoulders slightly broader, the muscles of his arms looking defined under the sleeves of his shirt. He's got a healthy glow to his skin, his silvery hair soft and tucked under a beanie. There are new tattoos that Liam has never seen in person, and he's almost tempted to reach out and grab his wrist, pull his arm closer so he can drag his fingers across the skin.

He doesn't, though. Looking at the silver hoop in Zayn's nose, also new, and the furrowing of his brow, Liam remembers he hasn't spoken yet.

"Hey," he says, a thousand seconds too late. He smiles, awkward, hands in his pockets like he's the one who's randomly shown on his doorstep. "Back in England?"

"No - ," Zayn says, then stops. "I mean, like, yeah, obviously, but I - I wanted to talk."

"You came to England just to talk to me?" Liam says, teasingly. He definitely means it as a joke, a glint in his eye and he's almost smiling all the way now.

Zayn doesn't smile. He looks at him with wide eyes, chewing on his lip.

It's one of those things where Liam doesn't know what the right thing to say is, or the right thing to do, so he just kind of nods and gestures for Zayn to come inside.

Liam isn't looking at him when he closes the door, but he can hear the heavy steps of his boots across the hardwood paneling. Zayn hasn’t been at his place for over a year, probably. When Liam turns, Zayn is the one with his hands in his pockets, wearing a terrible frown.

Liam's a little disadvantaged here. It's all because part of him has been waiting for this for so long - for Zayn to reach out, to see Zayn in person again and talk about what's going on, to almost - to kind of have Zayn again. He tries to hold his tongue, though, let Zayn speak first, because he knows if he starts talking his emotion will start spilling out everywhere onto everything.

It's a little disconcerting, is all, when you realize how essential people are in your life only after they've effectively eliminated themselves from each and every integral part. He's adjusting.

Liam's trying to remember to be polite, to be courteous, and he's asking, "Are you - "

"I miss you," Zayn says suddenly, looking at the floor, and Liam’s throat tightens at his words. "This is weird, probably, but like - of course I miss it all, even if I'm happy - but I miss you, yeah?"

Liam blinks, taking a breath. He looks steadfastly at Zayn and his eyes are wide and soft, his stubble slight. Liam misses him in more ways than he can really cope with.

"Yeah," he says, practically an exhale. His hands relax at his sides, where he hadn't even noticed they'd been in anxious fists.

Zayn licks his lips, taking his hands from his pockets to play with his rings. "So, can we like - hang out? Without being awkward?"

He seems so hopeful, fingers twitching like he's a little anxious that Liam might shut him down.

"Definitely," Liam says easily, and he feels warm. He's bouncing on his toes when he steps forward, noticing how Zayn does too. Zayn's shoulders relax and his eyebrows unfurrow and he smiles - a real smile, the kind of smile he’s shared with Liam for years. It always felt so personal, that soft look, that warmth, reserved just for him.

'Cause Zayn misses it all, of course, but he misses Liam.

"C'mere," Liam says a moment later, and he doesn't wait before he's tugging Zayn in by the back of the neck so that their chests collide, arms coming around each other's torsos. Zayn's hands press to Liam's lower back and he can feel him breath in against his shoulder. It feels safe. It feels comfortable, settling into each other again.

Liam knows this kind of thing is so different for Zayn - for how sensitive he knows he can be, his ways of expressing emotions are a little limited and something he's always had a hard time doing. He appreciates his openness all the more for it. He's glad even with months separating them, they can still ease into a hug the same way, relate to each other with the same words. It feels immensely comforting.

When he pulls away, Zayn is still smiling, eyes shining and Liam is stupidly fond of him. He doesn't know how he went this long without having him around, even for as desperate or pathetic as it may seem.

You can't just grow into another person over the years and dig up the roots that are sewn deep inside you in a matter of months. It just doesn't work. Liam’s learning that.

"Missed you, too," Liam says after a moment, pinching Zayn's side. Zayn giggles into Liam's shoulder, and Liam helplessly grins, feeling more content than he has in a long while.

"Yeah?" Zayn asks, voice soft when he leans up to blink his dark eyelashes at Liam, but he doesn’t look the least bit uncertain.

"Yeah," Liam confirms, knocking their foreheads together gently.

He really never wants to lose this boy.

Because it felt that way, for a long while. Like Zayn had left the band but he also left them, left him. He felt abandoned and maybe that wasn't fair, but it hurt in ways he couldn't really express in words. It felt like he was losing someone he so desperately needed, in the simplest of ways.

It isn't really like that though, and Liam knows that now. Zayn is bringing Liam along in the next stage of his life. It feels, for the first time, like the most hopeful of things.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> i've never written gen fluff before but i wanted something that wasn't really about pining or romance for once, just something about sides of them we (used to) see all the time: fondness, easy affection, and hugs. 
> 
> anyways thanks for reading and follow [soofyahn](soofyahn.tumblr.com) because i'm usually crying about ziam there, and i love friends!!!


End file.
